Avoiding the Lames:An Introduction

Are you tired of dealing with the wrong people, in terms of dating? Frustrated that the wrong types seem to keep falling into your good graces, leaving you more frustrated than before in the aftermath? Bewildered as to what to do to help save yourself some grief? If so, I know that you're not alone. I too have grown sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'd like to share my awareness with others and empower people. And if someone can be spared some pain out of the traumatic experiences that I've survived, then so be it.

I came up with the concept of Avoiding the Lames after talking to my cousin in Philadelphia (where I used to reside and plan on returning) one day. She was lamenting how it was so difficult for her to get a date. Now mind you, this is a beautiful, ferociously talented, vivacious young lady who has it together and is definitely going places! She's no ghetto chick, golddigger, selfish spoiled brat type, or whatever negative adjective you'd like to use here. And she was saying how 'the lames' seem to always come out ahead, how they seem to always get the dates! What's up with that? There's no justice in this. So I thought to myself..."Hmm. I'm very frustrated with dating as well. I'm ready to just 'do me' and take care of business until the right man/situation comes along. I'm fine with being single until then. But for everyone else, or for those who wish to dip their toe into the dating pool, I'd like to help. Like Emily Dickinson said, "If I can stop one heart from breaking", I will. Lord only knows I've had mine broken, tremendously, more than once. But I have learned from my mistakes, am assessing what I am attracting, and am willing to 'do the work' in making internal adjustments to what and who I deal with externally for better results. And I love people, and enjoy empowering others. Thusly, I am setting out to blog for the first time here, on what to avoid. In weeding out what we don't want, we can hone in better upon what we do wish to attract into our lives and hearts.

So, where do I begin? I think I will say that I'm all for empowerment - for all people, but especially women. Let's face it, so often women have been nurtured and misinformed to set ourselves up to do the very things that end up being our undoing. Not trusting our instincts, commanding respect, or assessing our own worth and making sure others do as well are huge mistakes. I seek to help others help themselves. That having been said, I think it's important for ALL people of all backgrounds, male and female, all sexual orientations take control of their lives and learn to love and respect themselves, so that they in turn can give that to someone outside of themselves. I might post short bursts of thought here, but it all goes towards the endeavor of helping others. Stay tuned...