Here are a few things that we can use to decode what someone says, when they don't have the heart (or the balls) to tell you what they really mean:
"I don't want to be anyone's man" - I don't want to be YOUR man, or I want the sex with no strings.
"I don't want someone with baggage." Let's face it, we ALL have baggage. It's just a question of how we choose to manage it and collect or release it. They have their baggage, and expect you to deal with it, but don't want you to have any!
"I need to go away by myself and sort things out." - I don't have the balls to break up with you, but I'm using you in the meantime so I won't be single (or can use you for resources:i.e. rent, food, sex, etc.). Just until your replacement is found. If a man truly loves you and is into you, he won't be able to spend enough time around you!
"I want a quiet, mousy type." - I want someone who I think I can control, and who makes me feel more manly.
"I don't want a materialistic girl." - I want someone who doesn't mind that I'm cheap (not always, but this is a red flag if he supposedly wants to date you, but is worried about how much it might cost!) A gentleman understands and appreciates having to work for your hand, which includes spending money to take you places, out to dinner, or to do little things for you. Make sure he lives by the credo Go hard or GO HOME!
"Whatever happens happens." - I won't set boundaries here, so if we have sex and I'm not committed to you, I'll gladly take your body but leave the rest. I'm nonchalant about your feelings and don't care if it makes you feel used.
"Let's hang out at my place and watch a movie/cook dinner/cuddle up but not have sex...(fill in the blank). - I want to try to have sex with you, but I'm going to be sneaky about it, so I'll ask you over to my home ( a private place where they're controlling the environment), get you alone and try to get your guard down to get you to have sex too soon. DO NOT fall for this! Any man worth his weight in salt will take you out, especially for the first date, for at least coffee or a drink. That's a cheap date, and it's the least he can do to meet your acquaintance. And that way, if things aren't going well, you can leave more easily (and he can't stick you with a dinner tab if he's a real loser!)
"Here's my number. Why don't you call me sometime and we'll go out?" - He should ask for YOUR number, so HE can call YOU and take YOU out! There's nothing wrong with exchanging numbers. But don't let him sneakily put the burden of contacting him onto you. He needs to man up or step off! And don't let him text you incessantly without ever calling you either. If his fingers can text you, they can light up your phone and call your sweet assed self!
More to come...
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